The other day one of the people I TA with and I were talking after class and she tells me that the young ladies on campus have started some sort of movement in posting stickers that say "you're beautiful" on bathroom walls. We talked about this for a minute, the conversation went something like:
Me: If you're getting a self-confidence boost based on what a post-it note on a bathroom stall says, then you've got problems much too big for that note.
Her: Hahahaha! Yeah, but some of those girls might actually need a boost.
Me: Well, what if they're not beautiful? I mean, not *every*one is attractive and I'm pretty sure that a lot of people do some pretty shitty things. Why tell them they're awesome if it's not true or they don't deserve it?
Her: Umm...well...umm...
I know I sound like a complete fucking asshole here...but I think I might be on to something. Why do we feel it necessary to remind people of their own inner beauty if the actions they have done suggest they have anything but? You shouldn't tell a girl she's a beautiful person if she's woken up in cum-stained sheets more often than a thirteen year old boy who's just discovered the dick-numbing bliss of hardcore porn. That's not a "beautiful person." That's a whore. If her personality was as golden as it's being made out to be then she shouldn't jump in bed with the first walking hard-on that tells her she's "special." Oh? You feel bad after that? There's a reason you do. It's called "shame."
I know a couple of women like that. They don't need to be told they're "beautiful." They've sold a part of themselves and they're going to have to work for it to get it back.
I'm going to have to do a little backtracking here. I'm not saying this as a chauvinist. I'm commenting on a trend that seems to permeate our culture of valuing people's self-esteem as the highest good...even to the point of protecting people who do bad things. Yes, I think there is inherent self worth but I also believe that the actions that people do either affirm that self worth or deny it. Those who deny it should not be lied to. You wouldn't reward a child who just stole candy in the same way as you wouldn't make someone feel better if they've just got done blowing half the Kappa Sig guys. They deserve that feeling.
Until next time,
T
This was AWESOME.
ReplyDelete